I was supposed to be packing.

Next week was supposed to be my “I’m outta here” week — a whole trip to Vegas or an Author’s Conference. Not just any conference, either. James Patterson was the keynote. And my favorite authorpreneur, who I’ve been following for years — I was most looking forward to her sessions and meet-up — will be there. Next week was supposed to be one of those “this will pour into the writer part of me” trips.

I had the flights. I had most of it covered. What I didn’t have was the rest of the hotel and the “I’m-on-vacation-so-I’m-spending” money.

And then the paycheck didn’t come.

I went through that little denial phase — checking, refreshing, doing the math again, wondering if I could “make it work.” I even thought, “Well, I could borrow from myself…,” but something in me said, No. That’s not wisdom. That’s just disappointment talking.

So now I have a whole week off on the calendar… and I’m not going to my conference.

This post is me practicing the disappointment before the days arrive — so I don’t spend next week in my feelings, sulking through what could still be a really good month.

1. Disappointment isn’t failure

Let me say it plainly: I’m not going on this trip because I don’t have the money to go the way I wanted to go. That’s it. That does not make me irresponsible or “behind.” It makes me a person choosing not to raid long-term money or go into debt for a short trip — even a really good, career-feeding, writer-nerd trip.

Sometimes the most mature thing you can do is tell yourself no — ahead of time — and then sit with how much you hate that you had to.

If you’re here too, hear me: your disappointment is not evidence you’re doing life wrong. It’s evidence that you care.

2. The money spiral (and why I’m catching it early)

What this brought up for me wasn’t just “I can’t go to Vegas.” It was all the old stuff: living paycheck to paycheck, frustration at myself for not having a bigger buffer, even a little shame.

So I’m naming it now:

• “I’m not mad about the trip — I’m mad that I still feel financially tight.”

• “I don’t like feeling at the mercy of outside stuff.”

• “I don’t like that I wanted to celebrate myself (particularly in that way) — and couldn’t.”

Naming it takes the power down. This is mindfulness: notice, don’t judge.

3. Disappointment as redirection

Here’s where faith meets wellness for me.

I don’t believe this is punishment. I believe it’s redirection. Sometimes God says, “Nope, not yet.” My nervous system hears, “You failed,” but the Spirit is saying, “I’m protecting and preparing you.” On a surface level, my bank account said, “Girl, bye.” And if I’m being honest with myself I wasn’t fully prepared for this trip. But I wanted to go, really bad.

Reframe to borrow:

“I didn’t miss out. I was redirected. I will still be restored.”

I’m saying that to myself before next week hits so I don’t make impulsive, “I deserve this!” decisions.

4. What I’ll do with the week instead

The time off is still there. I’m just… home. So I’m planning “mindful insteads” now, so I don’t wake up Monday annoyed.

• Home retreat day (robe, candles, slow breakfast, no laptop till noon)

• Outside movement (long walk, podcast, let nature regulate you.)

• Make the cozy dairy-free meals anyway (slow, mindful cooking moments)

• Money reset (look at the budget from stewardship, not shame)

• Study-from-home version of the conference (watch author talks, catch up on workshops, take notes like I was there)

• Plan the next trip with a savings plan (hope regulates)

• Pour into someone else (disappointment shrinks when generosity grows)

The goal isn’t to pretend I’m not disappointed. The goal is to stay present in my favorite month even though the first week changed.

5. What I’m telling myself this week

Here are the lines I’m keeping in front of me next week:

• “This is disappointing, and I am still provided for.”

• “I can want more and still be grateful for now.”

• “My celebration is delayed, not denied.”

• “I choose wisdom over impulse.”

• “God, thank You for protecting what I can’t yet see.”

Say them out loud, your body needs to hear you.

6. Why I’m sharing this at all

I don’t usually talk about my 9–5 here — that’s intentional. But I do talk about resilience, mindful living, and emotional clarity. It wouldn’t be honest to only teach that when everything lines up.

Disappointment is where this work actually lives.

This is what I want The Mindful Brew to be: not “here’s how to be perfect,” but “here’s how to stay present when plans fall through.”

7. Let’s do this together

If you’re in a similar spot — plans changed, money shifted, something you were excited about didn’t happen — I want to send out some extra November journal prompts + a little audio encouragement to my list.

Join the list here so you get it. (I’m building a journal for us, and the list gets first access.)

Tell me below: What plan isn’t happening or didn’t happen that you are disappointed about — and how are you choosing to respond to it?

You’re allowed to grieve it.
You’re allowed to choose wisdom.
You’re allowed to still have a beautiful November.